A person I was once close to was arrested for domestic violence by strangulation. I knew this person for over three years and they never moved to hit me or be aggressive to me. Did I dodge a bullet? Maybe. I still felt responsible... like I didn't do enough... clearly I had nothing to do with their current situation, but I just hate to see people I have loved hurting. I felt helpless and sad and guilty.
I experienced more helplessness at the news of one of my childhood friends being shot and killled by a homeowner as he attempted to rob them in the same neighborhood we both grew up in... I saw the headlines before I knew who it was and I thought, "geez, is the neighborhood that bad now?" When I found out it was someone I knew my heart dropped... the neighborhood wasn't bad he wasn't bad guy, he made a stupid decision that cost him his life. I felt like I failed him in some way... Especially since I didn't know him at the time he died, l should have kept in touch...
Also I experienced a loved one being incarcerated. I witnessed them go from an ambitious focused path to a path of passive destruction which led to one misstep after another until one of those mistakes came back to claim their life for almost 4 years. It's painful to see a person I love go through the system especially when it was something they could have prevented. Why couldn't I save them? What could I have done to help! I felt helpless and completely alone watching it all unfold. I scrambled to try and handle their affairs once they left so that everything they'd worked for wouldn't go to waste. Deciding to take that on was the most frustrating thing I have ever done in my entire life. I even relocated and turned down an opportunity or two to make sure I could handle the extra responsibility. I'm still adjusting, but it's getting easier. One day at a time...
I had a personal low moment when I physically assaulted someone in my life who I love. I lost every bit of control I had and I lost it. It was my fault. I could have made better choices, but I didn't. I failed myself in that moment. Everything I've tried to be and do seemed to be all in vain. Who am I if I would hurt someone so important to me? If some one else had done the same thing I would have been furious. I could only be mad at myself...
Ok that's enough of what I hated...
I had a lot of love moments too... more love moments then the previous year.
I have been on the most trips I have ever been on this year!!! I went to New Orleans, Miami(twice), Detroit, Los Angeles, Dominican Republic, and Cancun. I'm missing one city.... I got to travel with my sister to New Orleans and that was a DREAMTRIP! I love going on those! We got to see how Mardi Gras parade floats were made and they let us make Mardi Gras masks. The masks were my absolute favorite part! After we made them we got to try on costumes that matched what we created and we took pictures in them... it was pretty awesome. We ate oysters at damn near every restaurant we passed and went to the famous Cafe Du Mondé. Can you say YUMMY!!
I went to Dominican Republic with my Mom and Grandmother, which could have been a real snooze fest, but it was an amazing trip. I got some well needed quality time with two people that I love. My Mom and Grandma are extremely entertaining... I realized that they need there own reality show. Everyone in Dominican Republic is beautiful, by the way. I'm brushing up on my Spanish too. Next time I'll be able to hold a conversation.... even if it's a short one.
I saw Beyoncé, Rihanna, AND Ginuwine. I have loved Ginuwine since I was in the sixth grade. At his peak he was the best out of all the R&B pop crooners. Obviously I saw Beyonce, but this time I think Rihanna wins. Her album hit me in my chest, made my eyes water, and she let me sing my little heart out on Higher... Definitely a win for the Navy.
I worked on the Galaxi Girl Hair Tour. Planning and managing from start to finish going out of town every weekend for almost two months, bought the tour to 5 cities across the United States, it was amazing. I was able to help Breezie The Stylist, my talented sister, reach dozens of women grow their businesses and grow into their potential as stylists. I got to visit my family in some of the cities and I made memories on Venice beach. I even watched a scene being filmed with Magic Johnson in it!! Cali was nice... I wouldn't mind living there. Venice Beach was beautiful!! The tour was a big accomplishment for me. I never know what I can do until its done.
I also got to do the Diva Kurves Anniversary pool party!! That was a learning experience. I got to see up close what it takes to make a event happen. I learned first hand that even when you think you are ready... have one more meeting. LOL You just can't have too many meetings. The event was a success and I got to work with women who are serious about building and I was able to make connections that will help me fulfill my own dreams.
One step at a time is all I have to give and I will give it. I'll take each step as careful as I can and I will keep going... Learning and growing and giving and living on the way.
One step at a time is all I have to give and I will give it. I'll take each step as careful as I can and I will keep going... Learning and growing and giving and living on the way.
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